HELLO HEX

NO PANTS ALLOWED

Hex — Sat, 17 Jul 2010 20:11:19 +0000

LET’S TOUCH ME

Hex — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 02:30:13 +0000

Hex — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 02:56:40 +0000

HEX HAS FANS

Hex — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 01:22:05 +0000

SUBTLE

Hex — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 19:12:04 +0000

LONG TONGUE IS LONG

Hex — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 09:17:39 +0000

HEX IS CONFUSED HOW THIS WORKS.

Hex — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 08:55:34 +0000

HEX IS HERE WITH YOU STILL, LIKE OBI WAN, EXCEPT HE IS NOT OLD, BUT HE IS A JEDI

Hex — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 08:39:46 +0000

HELLO, HEX’S FRIENDS. MANY OF YOU HAVE EXPRESSED CONCERN AS HEX HAS BEEN QUIET THE LAST FEW MONTHS AND HEX CAN UNDERSTAND YOUR CONCERN SINCE ITS REALLY HARD FOR HEX TO EVEN NAP WITHOUT HAVING THE NEIGHBORS CALLING THE COPS BECAUSE HE IS MAKING TOO MUCH NOISE BEING AWESOME.

HEX IS THINKING OF NEW, COOL THINGS, THAT DO NOT INVOLVE FELONIES, THAT HE CAN SHARE WITH YOU, LATER. LIKE TOMORROW, OR NEXT TUESDAY.

OK BYE!!!!!!

BURRITO SALVATION

Hex — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 17:02:23 +0000

HEY EVERYONE, HEX IS HERE WITH EXCITING NEWS. HEX WAS GOING TO DO SOMETHING CRAZY AND SELF-SACRIFICING TODAY: HE WAS GOING TO SKIP HIS BURRITO TODAY SO HE COULD GO TO THE COMIC BOOK SHOP TO GET A COPY OF BETA RAY BILL: GODHUNTER #1 BECAUSE BETA RAY BILL IS TOTALLY AWESOME. (THOUGH NOT AS AWESOME AS HEX’S DAD, ROM) HOWEVER, HEX’S SELF SACRIFICE WAS NOT NEEDED BECAUSE A CO-WORKER WANTED BURRITOS TOO AND THEY DELIVER! YAY BURRITOS YAY COMIC BOOKS!

HEX'S STAGES OF BURRITO GRIEF

Hex — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 15:17:04 +0000

RECENTLY HEX BLACKTHORNE WAS NOT ABLE TO EAT A BURRITO

THERE WAS AN ISSUE THAT AROSE AT HOME — HEX’S LADY WAS BEING HARASSED BY GIGANTIC ANTS LIKE JOAN COLLINS IN ‘EMPIRE OF THE ANTS’ BUT HEX’S LADY IS NOT A BITCHY REAL ESTATE AGENT, IS NOT IN FLORIDA, AND IS NOT JOAN COLLINS BUT IS STILL A REAL FINE LADY

ANYWAY SO HEX HAD TO GO HOME, AND IT WAS FRIDAY, WHEN HEX NORMALLY GETS A BURRITO FOR LUNCH (WITHOUT BEANS BECAUSE HE IS TOTALLY TOO NICE TO HIS CO-WORKERS)

IF YOU DONT GET TO EAT YOUR BURRITO WHEN YOUR BURRITO IS DUE, YOU MIGHT GO THROUGH A SIMILAR EXPERIENCE TO HEX

THE FIRST STAGE OF BURRITO GRIEF IS SHOCK AND DENIAL. HEX COULD NOT BELIEVE HE DIDN’T GET TO EAT HIS BURRITO. HIS BURRITO WAS GOING TO BE SO TASTY! THE BURRITO PLACE PLAYS GOOD MUSIC!

THE SECOND STAGE IS ANGER. GOD DAMN YOU ANTS! GOD DAMN YOU JOAN COLLINS! GOD DAMN YOU POOR DRUNK TED THE SHITTY MAINTAINENCE MAN WHO DOESNT DO HIS JOB! HEX WAS GOING TO HAVE A GODDAMNED BURRITO!

THIRD YOU WILL EXPERIENCE BARGAINING. IF HE DIDNT HAVE THE BURRITO THIS WEEK, HEX CAN HAVE A BURRITO NEXT WEEK TWICE. EVEN IF HEX’S LADY SAYS NO BECAUSE SHE IS WORRIED ABOUT HIS CHOLESTEROL. HE DESERVES A SECOND BURRITO, HEX’S LADY! HE HAD PANERA THAT DAY! PANERA! IT WAS NOT A BURRITO! HEX WANTS A BURRITO PLEASE ITS ONLY ONE WEEK HE WILL HAVE A SECOND BURRITO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE HE WILL BE GOOD AND NOT ASK THIS EVER AGAIN

FOURTH, DEPRESSION. OH WOE IS HEX. HE WANTED A BURRITO AND HE CANT HAVE IT. HEXS LIFE IS SO UNFAIR. NO BODY LOVES HEX, EVERYBODY HATES HEX, HEX IS GONNA GO EAT WORMS!!!!!!!

FIFTH: ACCEPTANCE. HEX IS NOT GOING TO HAVE TWO BURRITOS THIS WEEK, BUT WILL INSTEAD HAVE SAUSAGE TWICE AND NOT TELL HEX’S LADY. (SHE WONT READ THIS HEX IS PRETTY SURE!!!!)

PLEASE BE SURE TO CHECK BACK NEXT WEEK FOR HEX’S GUIDE ON SURVIVING THE WRATH OF YOUR LADY WHEN YOU LIE ABOUT YOUR SAUSAGE INTAKE.

THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!